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Saturday, 9 February 2013

My collection of jokes for you.................17013

लडका लडकी एक प्लेट मेँ पानी पूरी खा रहे थे ।
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एक दूसरे की आँखोँ मेँ आँखेँ डालकर खा रहे थे ।
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लडकी(प्यार से)-ऐसे क्योँ देख रहे हो?
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लडका-एक दो मेरे मुँह मेँ भी डाल दे भुक्कड कहीँ की ।:p
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Which Bollywood heroine used to cheat in every exam in school?
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Isha Copy-kar !
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Interviewer- aapki shaadi ho gayi?

Santa - Haanji,1 ladki
se huyi hai.

Interviewer- Shaadi to ladki se hi hoti hai

Santa- Naa ji meri behan ki to ladke Se huyi hai..lol;):D
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VERY HEART TOUCHING STORY
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Kutte Ka Bacha Apni Maa Se..;

Maa-Pitaji dikhne Me kaise the?

Maa rote huye-Pata Nhi Beta
Piche Se Aye The
Piche Se Hi Chale gaye.... :)) 
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Miss: Batao Bacho! Hansne Ka Opposite Word Kya Ho Ga?

Girl:'SEX'

Miss Gusey Se: Kese?

Girl:

Hansna Hota Hai
Ha Ha Ha Ha

Aur Sex Hota Hai
aH aH aH aH !!! 
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Man O Man!

When without money, eats wild vegetables at home; When has money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant.

When without money, rides bicycle; When has money, rides the same exercise machine.

When without money, walks to earn food; When has money, walks to burn the fat.

Man O Man ! never fails to deceive thyself ! When without money, wishes to get married; When has money, wishes to get divorced.

When without money, wife becomes secretary; When has money, secretary becomes wife.

When without money, acts like rich man; When has money, acts like poor man.

Man, O Man! never can tell the simple truth ! Says share market is bad but keeps speculating; Says money is evil but keeps accumulating. Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them. Says gambing and drinking is bad but keeps indulging;

Man O Man ! Never means what he says and never says what he means!
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 ज्योतिषी महाराज ने रंगलाल का हाथ देखा

ज्योतिषी : वाह वाह अगले साल तुम्हारे नीचे कार होगी

रंगलाल : नहीं हुई तो ?

ज्योतिषी : तुम कार के नीचे होवोगे..........हा हा हा
 
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रंगलाल चौराहे पर जलेबियाँ बेच रहा था लेकिन चिल्ला रहा था

"आलू ले लो आलू "

नंगलाल बोला बापू ! आलू नहीं जलेबियाँ हैं जलेबियाँ

रंगलाल बोला - चुप रह बेवकूफ़, वरना मक्खियाँ आ जायेंगी....हा हा हा हा
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A blonde was driving down a street under the scorching sun. She had an important meeting and when she reached the building where the meeting was going to be held, she discovered that there was no vacant space to park her car.

Desperate and confused, she looked up and said, "God, take pity on me and find me a parking place. If you do so, I will visit the church daily, donate half of my this month's salary and give up alcohol for the rest of my life."

Miraculously, an empty parking place appeared out of nowhere in front of the blonde. The blonde pleased by the discovery, looked up and said, "Nevermind, I found one myself!"
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An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

The old man just stared.

Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.

The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
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