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Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Interview of a married man for the benefit of the unmarried ones............18513

 
Interview of a married man for the benefit of the unmarried ones

Reporter: So how is your married life?
Mr. Bansal: First of all, “married life” is an oxymoron.

Reporter: But people say marriages are made in heaven?
Mr. Bansal: Only if heaven is full of Chinese people.

Reporter: So yours was an arranged marriage, how was it?
Mr. Bansal: Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colors and then…

Reporter: Hmm, so when did you realize that married life is dangerous?
Mr. Bansal: I knew it from day one, marriage is danger, that’s why the bride always wears RED.

Reporter: I’ve heard that arranged marriages last longer that the love ones? Is it true?
Mr. Bansal: Love marriages, hahaha, mostly it goes like this:
We are made for each other.
We are mad for each other.
We are maid for each other.

Reporter: If it is that bad then how married people pass their time?
Mr. Bansal: They watch a lot of TV. Wife watches “Punar-Vivah” and husband wants it for real.

Reporter: So, why you guys don’t do any fun things, like playing games together?
Mr. Bansal: Yes we do. Me and my wife, we are playing a game called “You to be blamed”, very close game, right now she is leading by 1876 – 1.

Reporter: Okay, tell us, what kind of conversations you guys make while you’re free?
Mr. Bansal: She asks a lot of questions, every wife does, and as we start answering their questions, they start questioning our answers.

Reporter: So any tips you wanna share?
Mr. Bansal: Yep, quite a few:
(A). Don’t waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she’ll treat you like a clown anyway.
(B). Never reply to your wife’s “I love you” text with an OKAY.
(C). Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
(D). And yes, take you wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost. =D
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A Family Is At The Dinner Table. The Son Asks His Father, “ Dad, How Many Kinds Of Boobies Are There? ”
The Father, Surprised, Answers: “ Well, Son, There’s Three Kinds Of Breasts. ”
“ In Her Twenties , A Women’s Breasts Are Like Melons, Round And Firm. ”
“ In Her Thirties To Forties , They Are Like Pears, Still Nice But Hanging A Bit. ”
“ After Fifty , They Are Like Onions . ”
“ Onions? “, Son Surprised
“ Yes, You See Them And They Make You Cry. ”
This Infuriated His Wife And Daughter So The Daughter Said: “ Mum, How Many Kinds Of ‘ Willies ‘ Are There? ”
The Mother, Surprised, Smiles And Answers: “ Well Dear, A Man Goes Through Three Phases. ”
“ In His Twenties , His Willy Is Like AnOak Tree, Mighty And Hard. ”
“ In His Thirties And Forties , It Is A Birch, Flexible But Reliable. ”
“ After His Fifties , It Is Like A Christmas Tree . ”
“ A Christmas Tree? “, Daughter Asked
“ Yes, Dead From The Root Up And The Balls Are For Decoration Only. “
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