Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Do you know why every woman needs a husband ??...............23913

हँसमुखजी ने इंटरनेट पर फोटो लगा दी यंग (हास्य कविता)
हँसमुखजी ने
इंटरनेट पर
फोटो लगा दी यंग
उसे देख महिलाएँ
हो गयी दंग
भेजने लगी चैट के
निमंत्रण दना दान
निरंतर
घंटों चैटिंग होने लगी
चालीस के महिलाएँ
खुद को
१६ का समझने लगी
घर परिवार की बातें
होने लगी
दिलों में ताँक झाँक
बढ़ने लगी
५५ साल के हँसमुखजी
घबरा गए
बातों ही बातों में असली
उम्र से वाकिफ करा गए
अरमानों का घडा
फूट गया
मज़ा सारा किरकिरा
हो गया
बिना फिसलन के पैर
फिसल गया
महिलाओं के रंग में
पड़ गया
भारी भरकम भंग
चैटिंग हो गयी फ़ौरन बंद
अब भैया ,बहना कहते हैं
मैसेज से काम चलाते हैं
मन के लड्डू कभी कभास
फिर भी फूट जाते हैं
डा.राजेंद्र तेला,निरंतर
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बिहार के एक रेलवे स्टेशन पर लिखा हुआ स्लोगन -----

"आना मुफ्त-----जाना मुफ्त

पकडे गए तो खाना मुफ्त"
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एक बै एक मास्टर नै बालकां तै बैठी होई गाँ (sitting cow) का चित्र बनाने के लिए दिया . एक बालक नै खड़ी गाँ बना राखी थी .
मास्टर डंडा उठा के चिल्लाया "मैंने तुम्हे बैठी हुई गाँ बनाने के लिए कहा था "
बालक बोल्या "मास्टरजी मन्नै तै बैठी ए बनाई थी , यो तै आपका डंडा देख कै खड़ी होगी "
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The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
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After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.

"I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one."

The next time came around and she asked again.

The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked at his wife.

"I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby." !
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miya bibi bade mood mein..
socha ki antakshari khala jaaye!..
bibi garbhvati thi..
miya ne cheda saaj..
ye kya huva kub huva kaise huva.....kuch boata nhi kaise aur ..miya bola se... aap ki baari..
bibi ne cheda tarana...
sare raah chalte chalte... sare raah chalte chalte u hi koi mil gya thaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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एक बार संता जी अमेरिका जाते हैं. बुश उनसे मिलते हैं और जमीन खोदने को कहते हैं.

संता जी जमीन खोदते हैं 100, 200,300 फीट.

बुश कहते हैं, " कुछ मिला ?"

संता, "हां एक तार मिला."

बुश, "यह प्रूफ है कि हमारे यहां 100 साल पहले भी वायर कम्युनिकेशन था."

अब संता सिंह बुश को भारत बुलाते हैं और जमीन खोदने को कहते हैं.

बुश भी दम लगाकर 100 , 200, 400 फीट खोदते हैं और थक जाते हैं.

संता कहते हैं, "कुछ मिला."
बुश, "कुछ नहीं है. "
संता बोलते हैं, "देखा, यह इस बात का सबूत है कि यहां 400 साल से पहले से वायरलेस कम्युनिकेशन था. "
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Harry, after his retirement volunteered to entertain patients in hospitals. He would go from one hospital to another in the city and always carried his guitar with him. He would crack jokes and would sing some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished at one such hospital, he said to an old man, "I hope you get better."

The elderly gentleman quickly replied, "I hope you get better, too."
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Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite 'fast food' when you were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously.. Where did you eat?'

'It was at a place called 'home,'' I explained. 'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining table and if I didn't like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the lad was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I'd figured his system could have handled it :-

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore jeans, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed (slow).

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 10.

It was, of course, black and white and the station went off the air at 10.00 pm, after playing the national anthem and epilogue; it came back on the air at about 6 am!

And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people ...

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line.

Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home ... But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers My brother delivered newspapers, seven days a week. He had to get up at 5 am every morning to do this.

Film stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the films.

There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing without profanity or lewd scenes or violence or almost anything offensive.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
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Kelly went to see Josie to seek advice in a complicated legal case. Josie listened to her patiently and said, “Look Kelly, you should have gone to an expert in this matter as some legal issues are involved.”

Kelly replied, “That is what I was going to do. But when I talked to my brother about this, he said that any fool can guide you in this. So I came straight to you.”
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Reasons for Divorce


A man in Tarritville, Connecticut, 



filed for divorce because his wife left 

him 

a note on the refrigerator that read: 

"I have gone to the bridge club. 


There'll be a recipe for your dinner at 7 


o'clock on Channel 2." 



A deaf man in Bennettsville, South


 Carolina 


filed for divorce because his wife 


"was always nagging him in sign 

language."


A woman in Canon City, Colorado, 


divorced her husband because he

 forced her to 

"duck under the dashboard whenever 

they drove past his girlfriend's house."


A woman in Hardwick, Georgia,


 divorced her husband 

on the grounds that he 

"stayed home too much and 

was much too affectionate."

A man in Hazard, Kentucky, 


divorced his wife because she 

"beat him whenever he removed

 onions 

from his hamburger without asking for

 permission."
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Ken, joking to his friend over a


 round of drinks, "Do you know


why every woman needs a 


husband?"




Bud, "Why?"




Ken, "After all you can’t blame the

 government for every mistake."

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