Saturday, 16 February 2013

एक नवविवाहित दुल्हन अपनी सुहागरात पर अपने पति पूछती है..................19413

The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.

The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.

The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty.

The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"

The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions.
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प्यारी पत्नी!
एक बार एक नवविवाहित दुल्हन अपनी सुहागरात पर अपने पति पूछती है।

पत्नी: जानू बताओ मैं तुम्हे कितनी अच्छी लगती हूँ?

पति: बेहद।

पत्नी: बेहद मतलब?

पति: बहुत ही ज्यादा।

पत्नी: फिर भी कितनी?

पति: इतनी कि दिल चाहता है तुम्हारी जैसी एक और ले आऊँ।
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वैलेंटाइन डे पर लड़की ने यूं किया प्रपोज!

लड़की: सुनो।

लड़का: सुनाओ।

लड़की: कुछ जरूरी बात कहनी है।

लड़का: तो कहो ना।

लड़की: सबके सामने कहने में शर्म आती है।

लड़का: अरे शर्माओ मत कह भी दो।

लड़की: अच्छा कान पास लाओ कान में बोलूंगी।

लड़का: अच्छा ठीक है अब बोलो।

लड़की: तुम्हारी पैंट पीछे से फटी है।
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एक चोर तेजी से दौड़ता हुआ गली पर खडे़ एक सिपाही से टकरा गया सिपाही ने उसे डांटते हुए पूछा -कौन है?
पहले चोर घबरा गया, फिर भागते हुए बोला- चोर..
सिपाही ने उसे भागते हुए देखकर हंसते हुए कहा- बड़ा पागल आदमी है पुलिस से मजाक करता है।
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santa : Relince ka connection lene gaya

Call rate bataye
1 pase per sec.
50 paise per min.
1 rupee per 3 min.

Ye dekh santa bola
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santa : 1 rupee wala hi sahi hai roj khulle kahan se launga .. :)
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Two Girls Were Sitting At A Club.

One Was Ugly And The Other One Was Beautiful.

Pappu Came And Walked Straight To The Ugly Girl.

Pappu: “Hi”

Ugly Girl: “Hi”

Pappu: “Wanna Dance?”

Ugly Girl (Excited): “Yes, Why Not”

Pappu: “Ok, Go And Dance, Give Me Your Seat Let Me Talk To Your Friend.“
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Wife on call:"hey baby, what r
you doing.. ??
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Husband: "Office me bohat kaam
hai bus nipta ke aata hu."
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and u
sweet heart.. ?? .
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Wife: "Mai club me tere piche khadi hu... "
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Captain's Welcome Message
An airplane pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take-off.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 321, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and...," when suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers, "Oh My God" OMG! OMG! This is going to hurt... OMG!

Silence reigned! You can hear a pin-drop. He gets back on the microphone talking to thepassengers, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger hollered, "Why don't you come back here and see OUR PANTS FROM BEHIND."
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