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Tuesday, 12 February 2013

मै महुवे का देशी ठर्रा , तुम रेड लेबल की बोतल हो..............!!!....18213

At Traffic Signal Boyfriend To Girlfriend:Jaan Main Tumhari Ankhon Main Saara Jahan Dekh Sakta Hoo.
Paas Main Ek Aadmi Without Helmet Khada Tha, Usne Kaha Bhaisahab Mujhe Bas Itna Bata Do Ki Aage Chaurahe Par Helmet Ki checking Ho Rahi Hai Ya Nahi..
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Height of teasing:
I was sitting
near the window & singing.
"kabutar ja ja ja"
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then my mom asked me:- "Kya hua
beta SMS pack khatam ho gaya kya"..?? :)
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एक कुंवारी युवती की प्रार्थना : हे प्रभो, मैं अपने लिए कुछ नहीं मांगती, लेकिन कृपा करके मेरी मां को दामाद दे दो...
और भगवान ने उसकी प्रार्थना सुन ली दूसरे दिन ही...
उसकी बहन की शादी तय हो गई...!!!
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पत्नी और कश्मीर में क्या समानता है?

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सोचो सोचो
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"वैसे तो दोनों ही एक तरह से समस्या हैं
पर पडोसी देखे तो गुस्सा बहुत आता है" :D :P
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A student attached 100rs note 2 his test paper & wrote : 1 Rs for 1 mark,
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paper checker sent him Rs 51 back & wrote: U got 49 marks keep d change....and he failed :D
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Height Of Friendship :)
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1st Friend : Yar ek Kam Karega...??? .
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2nd Friend: Nahi :p :D
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MAHA KHATARNAK STUDENT:D
Teacher: What is a verb?
Student: A verb is a valve found in
bicycle tyre.
Teacher: What are you saying?.
Student: It is a complete sentence.
Teacher: Are you mad?.
Student: It
is a question.
Teacher: Don't be silly.
Student: It is an advice.
Teacher: Stop that nonsense.
Student: It is a command.
Teacher: You are an idiot.
Student: It is an insult!.
Teacher: Get out of my class.
Student: It is an order!
Teacher: Oh my God! What a shame!
Student: It is an exclamation.
Teacher: May God have mercy on
you.
Student: It is a prayer sir!:p:D
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आये थे कब्र पे
दीया जलाने के लिए...

गौर फरमाईये....

आये थे कब्र पे
दीया जलाने के लिए..

रखा हुआ फूल भी ले गए कमीने
वैलेंटाइन डे मनाने के लिए....!!!
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By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining
rooms have complained in the
past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time."
Said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,"
the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,'
and he sat up all night watching me."
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Father: Tumhare Result ka kya
hua.........??
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Abi (the bday boy) : Woh Engineer ka beta fail ho
gaya,
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Father: Aur tum...??
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Abi : Doctor ka beta Bhi fail ho
gaya,
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Father: Aur tumhara result kaisa
Aaya....??
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Abi : Wo Wakeel Ka Beta Bhi fail
Ho gya,
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Father: Kamine mai tera puch
raha
hun.
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Abi : To Aap konse Rajnikant Ho,
Aapka Beta Bhi Fail Hai.
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Dr: Aap K Father Ki B0DY MEiN WHiTE Cell Khatam Ho Gaye Hain..

Santa Bahar Gaya Aur th0ri Dair Baad Aa Kr K B0LA....
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D0CT0R Sab... WHiTE t0h Nahi Mily Ye 'EVEREADY' K Mile Hain Yehi DAAL D0 .. = D
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HERE I AM PLAYING NARAD TO ALL YOU LADIES:

Beware !! Valentine's Day is approaching.

If your husband sends you romantic messages, then be very happy.....

But think who is sending those messages to him...???

My job is over... :-) :-)
Narayan Narayan.
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Q: What tablet will the crow take if it gets fever?
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A: CROWsin. :-D :-D
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Larki jub saray kapray utaar laiti hay to kia hota hay?
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Taar khali ho jati hay.
Yaar kabhi to +ve socha karo...
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When a girl updates status
"I am in town who want to buy me lunch?"
(3 hours ago) (0 likes) (0 Comments)
>When she updates
"I want to have s**. Who want to come
over?
(10 minutes ago) (87 likes) (96 comments)
>When a boy updates status
"I am in town who want to come over I buy
you lunch?"
(10 minutes ago) (112 likes) (157 comments)
> When he updates status
" I want to have s**.Who wants tocome
over?"
(6 hours ago) (0 likes) (0 comments)
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "I am."
The man replies "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
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मेरी जान ,,,,

तुम नयी विदेशी मिक्सी हो,मै पत्थर का सिलबट्टा हूँ !

तुम अक 47 जैसी, मै तो एक देसी कट्टा हूँ !
तुम चतुर राबड़ी देवी सी, मै भोला भाला लालू हूँ !

तुम मुक्त शेरनी जंगल की, मै चिड़ियाघर का भालू हूँ !
तुम व्यस्त सोनिया गाँधी सी, मै राहुल गाँधी सा खाली हूँ !

तुम हंसी माधुरी दिक्षित की, मै पुलिसमैन की गाली हूँ !

कल जेल अगर हो जाए प्रिये, दिलवा देना तुम बेल प्रिये !
मुश्किल है अपना मेल प्रिये, ये प्यार नहीं है खेल प्रिये!!

मै ढाबे के ढांचे जैसा, तुम पांच सितारा होटल हो !
मै महुवे का देशी ठर्रा , तुम रेड लेबल की बोतल हो !!

तुम रंगोली का मधुर गीत, मै कृषि दर्शन की झाड़ी हूँ!!
तुम विश्वसुन्दरी सी कमाल, मै तेलिया छाप कबाड़ी हूँ!!

तुम सोनी का हो मोबाइल, मै टेलीफ़ोन वाला हूँ चोंगा !
तुम मछली मानसरोवर की, मै सागर तट का हूँ घोगा !

दस मंजिल से गिर जाउंगा, मत आगे मुझे धकेल प्रिये !
मुश्किल है अपना मेल प्रिये, ये प्यार नहीं है खेल प्रिये!!
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