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Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Why do Indian married women have that red dot on their forehead? .........12412

Bill Gates decided not to invest further in India after receiving a letter from Mr Banta ...
To,
Bill Gates,
Microsoft,

From: Banta

Date: 1 April 2012

Subject: Problems with my new computer...

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,
which I want to bring to your notice ...

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button.
We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system?
I find only 're-cycle',
but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working.
My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find 'button,
but was unable to trace.
Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learned 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence',
so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer,
CPU,mouse and keyboard,but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'.
When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'.
For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'.
I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Last one Mr. Bill Gates

P.S: "Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS ?"

Regards,

Banta ..

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एक बार संता अपनी प्रेमिका के साथ पार्क में बाहों में बाहें डाल कर बैठा हुआ था और कुछ बड़ी ही रूमानी बातें कर रहा था कि तभी अचानक वहां एक हवलदार आया और संता से बोला, "आपको शर्म नहीं आती आप एक समझदार व्यक्ति होकर खुलेआम पार्क में ऐसी हरकत कर रहे हैं।"

संता: देखिये हवालदार साहब आप गलत समझ रहे हैं, जैसा आप सोच रहे हैं वैसा कुछ भी नहीं है।

हवलदार: तो कैसा है?

संता: जी... हम दोनों शादीशुदा हैं।

हवालदार: अगर तुम शादीशुदा हो तो फिर अपनी ये प्यार भरी गुटरगूं अपने घर पर क्यों नहीं करते।

संता: हवालदार साहब कर तो लें पर वहां मेरी पत्नी और इसके पति को शायद अच्छा नहीं लगेगा।
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Solid Bezzati:
Overacting Boy: Mere paas apne Dost jaisi Car to nahi, parr tumhe apni Palko pe bitha k ghumaoonga!
Mere paas uss jaisa bada Bangla to nahi, parr tumhe apne Dil mae jagah doonga!
Mere paas uss jitne Paise to nahi, parr mai mehnat mazdoori kar ke khilaoonga,
Aur tumhe kya chahiye?
Clever Girl: Dimaag matt kha, Dost ka Number de!
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Words of Wisdom
In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying.

The Nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the Nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the Nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.

"Mother....." the Nuns asked earnestly, "please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."

Mother Superior raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said, "DON'T SELL THAT COW."
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Girl to her friends - Mujhe tumhari help chahiye ..
Girl 1 - yaar me toh khud busy hu.. :(
Girl 2 - Yaar mummy ne jaldi ghar bulaya hai :O
Girl 3 - kya tune meri help ki thi ?O.o
Boy to his Friends -- yaar ek panga ho gaya..:@
Boy 1 -- bol kitne bande bulaun:@
Boy 2 -- Kaat ke rakh denge saale ko :/
Boy 3 -- kiski itni himmat, apne bhai se panga kare.... Naam bata !
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Why do Indian married women have that red dot on their forehead? .........

Because they're recording everything !!:

ठोको Like !
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Judge-Tum Par Cycle Chori Ka Elzaam Sabit Nahi Hua..Lihaza Tumko Ba-Izzat Bari Kiya Jata He

Mujrim- Iska Matlab Mai Wo Cycle Rakh Sakta Hu.?
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