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Monday, 14 January 2013

Santa: If a lion attacks ur mother-in-law.......5713

Santa: If a lion attacks ur mother-in-law and
ur wife whom would u save ?
Banta: The lion of course !!
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Santa 2 Lawyer: In my will I want 2 donate all my assets to orphanage.
Lawyer: Excellent tell me what all u have .
Santa: One wife and 2 kids
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Santa ne aaj uske sare purane
records tod diye...
Fade joke ahead..:D
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Boss:"Where were you born...??
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Santa:"Punjab..
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Boss:"which part ??
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Santa:"Kya which part ??
Whole body born in
Punjab...:p :O :D :D
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A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
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A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "That's really not so bad."
When her two daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband 'Keith' came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
"Hi, Keith!"
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School:
A place where papa pays & son plays :-D
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Life insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich;-)
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Marriage:
its an agreement in which a man looses his bachelors degree and a women gains her masters;-)
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Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work :-)
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Smile:
A curve dat can set a lot of thngs straight :-)
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Doctor:
A person who kills ur ills by pills, n kills U by bills :D
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Wife: Do you love me just because my father left a lot of money for me?
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Husband: Not-at-all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
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