Thursday, 10 January 2013

HOW TO KILL A LION--Asaram Bapu Method.....4613

Police:"Jis car ne aapko takkar mari
uska number kya tha.. ??
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Pappu:"no to yaad nahi, par jo madam chala rahi thi,
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uski shirt ke 2 button khule the,

laal br* dikh rahi thi..
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size 36 or gale me sone ka locket tha
jo kabhi left to kabhi right ko touch kar raha tha..:p
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left wale pe ek til bhi tha..:p
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Baki mera to saara dhayan apni driving pe hi tha...:p :D :O
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Husband: Tum Meri koi bhi baat se sahmat nahi hoti ho, kya main moorkh hoon?? :(

Wife: Theek hai aapki iss baat se main bilkul sahmat hoon. Bas khush? ;)
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Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Sardar : Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Mai to uth ta he hu subhah 9 baje!
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Ek baar santa ko koi 8th floor par bulata hai. Jb vo vaha jata hai to flat ke samne likha rehta hai"Santa April Fool" to
Santa likhta hai "Mai to yahan pr aya hi nhi tha.'
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HOW TO KILL A LION
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Manmohan Singh Method:

The lion roars. Stay mute.
The lion roars louder. Stay mute.
Let this happen for infinite times.
Lion dies of frustration.
Theek hai?

Rahul Gandhi Method:

The lion roars.
Ask him to join farmville 2 and offer a cozy hut, daily healthy food, a pink dress with cute decorations every festive season.
Lion dies of shock.

Abhijit Mukherjee Method:

The lion roars.
Call him a painted rat who is not aware of real lionhood.
The lion dies being stuck by intolerable stupidity.

Akbaruddin Owaisi Method:

The lion roars.
Brag that you're such a human who can knock him down in 5secs if the cage is removed.
Lion dies of excessive laughter causing multiple organ failure.

Mohan Bhagwat Method:

The lion roars.
Tell him that lions only roar in jungles, but not in jungles. Ask him to get out of jungle and come to jungle and to learn sanskar.
The lion dies of confusion.

Asaram Bapu Method:

The lion roars.
Tell him 'Hello bhaiya'.
The lion dies of unbearable humiliation and degradation of his species.
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See Recent cartoons on asaram bapu.....Click here.... 
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Jokes and cartoons on Asaram bapu.............बेटा झांसाराम बापू की परिभाषा बताओ?...... 
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Asaram bapu jokes...... 
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Girls status on Facebook : "I AM
SAD"

Comments:
1. Haww! kya hua?
2. hey.. .everything ok????
3. shud i call?
... 4. Hey dont be sad ,tell me wat
happd?
5. Everything gonna b ok baby,chill

Boys Status on fb-" I am sad"
Comments :
1. Rote Hi rahiyo zindagi bhar
2. Kya Hua Kaminey?
3. Saala Dukhi Aatma
4. Zindagi barbad hai teri kutte
5. Achha hai aise hi reh... :-D
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Top 10 ways to avoid RAPE -

1. Don't live in India -
Migrate to Bharat instead.
(Courtesy - RSS Chief Mohan Bhagwat)

2. Don't eat chowmein.
(Courtesy - Khap Panchayat)

3. Don't go out with boys in the night.
(Courtesy - Abu Azmi of Samajwadi Party).
Better still - go on self imposed house-arrest.

4. Don't wear jeans. Fashion is strictly prohibited.
(Courtesy - too may people to mention)

5. Get married when you are 16years old.
(Courtesy - Khap Panchayat)

6. Don't use mobile.
(Courtesy - Some Panchayat in UP)

7. Don't cross Maryada
(Courtesy - MP Minister Kailash Vijayvargiya)

8. Say NO to anything remotely connected to western culture
(Courtesy - RSS Chief Mohan Bhagwat)

9. Perform puja to put "stars" in correct "position".
(Courtesy - Chhattisgarh Home Minister Nanki Ram Kanwar)

And if everything mentioned above fails and you are still being raped, here is the last weapon

10. Call your rapist "Bhaiya".
(Courtesy - Spiritual Guru Asaramji Bapu)

That ought to STOP THE RAPE!!
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Brand Amassadors:
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गुजरात: अमिताभ बच्चन
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पश्चिम बंग:शाहरुख
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दिल्ली: " शक्ति कपूर"
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2 comments:

  1. An old country PUROHIT had a teenage son, and it was getting high time the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

    One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
    1. A RAMAYANA,
    2. A silver coin,
    3. A bottle of whiskey,
    4. And a Playboy magazine.

    "I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Ramayana, he's going to be a purohit like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the coin, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord Shiva, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

    The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them, looking at each for several minutes. Finally, he picked up the Ramayana and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver coin and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

    "Lord Shiva have mercy!" the old purohit prayed. "He's going to be 'AASHARAM BAPU!'" hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  2. All allegations are false.Is anything proved true by court?

    ReplyDelete