Friday, 25 January 2013

Don't try to understand women............8913

एक व्यक्ति बड़ा दुखी हो कर मंदिर गया और भगवान् के सामने रोने लगा ..
हे भगवान् बहुत दुखी हु ....
मेरी बीवी सारा दिन किटी पार्टी में जुआ खेल खेल कर बर्बाद कर रही है
मेरा बेटा सारा दिन शराब के नशे में धुत्त रहता है ..
मेरी बेटी सारा दिन बुरे बुरे लडको के साथ घूमती रहती है और अब तो भाग गई
मेरे पिता घोड़े की रेस में पैसा लगा लगा के बर्बाद कर रहे है
भगवान् भी दुखी हो गए और पूछा वत्स ये बताओ क्या कुछ भी पोजिटिव नहीं है तुम्हारे जीवन में .
ब्यक्ति ने बड़ी मासूमियत से कहा - है न प्रभु मेरे में HIV पाजिटिव है :
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SHRABI:"Agar mere hath me SARKAR ho to
me DESH ki takdir badal dunga...
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WIFE:"HAramkhor -pehle apna pajama to
badal le, subah se meri SALVAR pehan k
ghum raha hai. ....
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Meri tapasya se khush hoke Bhagwan ji phir prakat hue aur bole.....Tu kuch zyada hi tapasya karne laga hai isliye kuch meri bhi sharte hai .Wo mujhse bole ki agar tu apna ek pyara
dost chhod de to main tujhe latest Cell phone dunga,
2 ko chhod de to
designer ghadi dunga, 5 ko chhod de to 10 lakh dunga,
aur sabhi dosto ko chhod de
to "FERRARI" dunga.

Main Bhagwan ji ke charno mein gir kar bola......
BHAGWAN JI
YE DOST WO HAI
JINHONE MERI HAR KHUSHI HAR
GHAM MEIN
SAATH DIYA. SUBAH SE SHAM TAK MERE SATH REHTE HAI
EK GLASS PANI BHI PIYA TO BHI
MERE SAATH
SHARE KIYA. MERI HAR POST PAR LIKES AUR COMMENTS KARTE HAI.MERI JAN HAI YE SAB
AUR
AAP KEHTE HO KI MAIN EK FRRARI
KE LIYE INHE
CHHOD DU? .
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KHAIR KOI BAAT NAHI, AAPKI AAGYA SIRR AANKHON PE PAR
FERRARI RED COLOUR KI HONI CHAHIYE....
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The Sociology professor was explaining how society's ideals of beauty change with time.

"For example," he said, "take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five foot, one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she'd do in today's version of the contest?"

One student piped up, "Not very well."

"Why is that?" asked the professor.

"For one thing, she'd be way too old!"
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For all those who don't know abt "punjabi's"

Syaapa- A one word definition of any disaster

Tastiest meal on earth- Langar

The one thing that brings a smile on every Punjabis face-Rajma Chawal

Our Natural response to any question is 'Avaiyee'

Punjabi Fitness mantra- Eat before you can think.

The only languae where the word 'whore' isnt offensive.:)
Whore kiddan?

Being 'loud' is our birth right, and we shall have it!

Its never 'Haaan', its always 'hanji'!

You know you are a punjabi when your grandmom thinks you are 'kamjor' even when you are over weight.

You know its gonna be a fun conversation when your uncle starts off with .. Penchod pata hai ki hoya??!!

Any conversation between two Punjabis for more than 15 minutes can only be about food!

There's always that one uncle who will dance with a glass on his head after a few pegs at every party!

You can take a Punjabi out of Punjab, But you cant take Punjab out of a Punjabi!

We have solutions to all your problems , Just bring them with a botal !!

Our families are so loud when they're happy , people think we're fighting!

Angrezaan kol hulk teh saade kol Dharmendra and Sunny Paaji!

The 5 P's of Punjabiness-
Parantha, Pencho,Paisa,Peg and Party.

We specialize in the art of earning 1 Rs and spending Rs 1.5 !

Step one to date a Punjabi:
Love Food!

Jeet, Preet,Meet, Leen, Jyot, Inder are just one part of our names.
If theres a fight , there is a Punjabi involved!

Punjabi kids get the shock of their lives in their first history lesson when they realize that BC actually means Before Christ !

Our Biggest Tensions-
When to eat ? What to eat ? With whom to eat?

To err is Human...
To Burrrrraaaah is PUNJABI !

If you talk about food more than business in office , then you are definitely a Punjabi.

'Kal se dieting shuru '- things we say everyday!

Punjabi after 6 pegs-
'Doosra hai yaar' !
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Ladki: matt kar mera picha 1 din pachtayega..
bahar college k tu chole bhature ki shop lagayega..
Ladka: tu mat thukra mere pyar ko, 1 din pachtayegi,
usi chole bhature ki shop pe bartan manjti nazar aayegi..
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Ek school ki building ko aag lag gai School ke sb bche door Khade hans rhe the
...ki chalo ab school toh ni ana padega
lekin 1 bacha Udas khada tha,
Teacher Us K Pas gya
Or Kaha Beta tum sharif aurmehnti student lagte ho,
Btao kyun Udaas Ho..??
Bacha (Rota Hua) : Sir School toh jal gya par aap toh zinda bach gye :
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Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other. :p
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Baap- 15 Saal k Bete ka School bag Check kar Raha tha.
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1 Condom Mila.
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Baap- Sharm Nahi Aati Is UMAR Me bag Me ye Rakhta hai?
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Beta- To kya is Umar Me Baap Ban Jau
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Santa Bante de ghar pehli vari aaya:
Yaar Tera munda ta bilkul tere verga lagda hai
Banta: Saleya houli Bol,
Eh Padosi da munda hai.. doodh lain aaya hai..
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