Monday, 17 December 2012

Santa lifts the tail of horse & says...jokes......150312

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Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur
money or life... The wives want both!

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Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to
get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
with 4 things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in neighborhood.....

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Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`...

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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It
only means that the safety of your head is much more important than
your ego!

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Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house
for 5 years.Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

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Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling
single again......

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A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.....

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It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect
a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good
Maid!
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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen
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of them.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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 एक बार ठलुआ ट्रेन से यात्रा कर रहा था.. जल्दी में टिकट नहीं ले पाया.. ट्रेन आ गई थी....उसे पता नही क्या सूझा कि उसने प्लेटफार्म पर पडा एक
पुराना टिकट उठा लिया...टिकट
को पानी में डुबोकर जेब में आराम से रख लिया...
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ट्रेन चल पड़ी...
. आधे घन्टे बाद टी टी के आने की हलचल सुनाई
पड़ी तो उसने टिकट निकालकर हाथ में ले
लिया...
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फिर उसने क्या किया कि जेब से 2 पेन निकाल कर
दोनों हाथों में एक एक पेन लेकर टिकट
को पेन से पकडा (हाथो से दूर रखा)... .
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टी टी आया...टिकट की डिमांड किया...सबने
अपना अपना टिकट दिखाया...
.
फिर ठलुआ से माँगा ..
ठलुआ ने वैसे ही पेन से पकडकर टी टी को दूर से
ही टिकट दिखाने लगा
.
टी टी को बडा अजीब लगा...
टी टी गुस्से से: ये क्या बेहूदगी है, हाथ से
क्यों नही दिखाते ?
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ठलुआ : कैसे छुए इसे...पेशाब में गिर गया था...
टी टी: दूर रखो इसे...जाने कहाँ कहाँ से आ जाते हैं !!! :D
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अर्ज किया है.....
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सारी रात गुजरती है बस इसी कशमकश में दोस्तो...
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कि
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ये साली रजाई में हवा किधर से घुस रही है....!!
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लड़की: क्या तुम मुझसे प्रेम करते हो?

प्रेमी: इसमें क्या संदेह है.

लड़की: तो क्या तुम मेरे लिए मर भी सकते हो?

प्रेमी: नहीं प्रिये मेरा अमर प्रेम है.
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TOP MANAGEMENT

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost. She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I have promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.
Man below replied: U r in hot air balloon 30 feet above d ground. U r at 41 deg north latitude & 59 deg west longitude.
Lady: U must be an engineer.
Man: How do u know?
Lady: Everything u told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost.
Engineer: U must be in Top Management.
Lady: Ya. How do u know?
Engineer: U don't know where u r or where you're going. U made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, & u expect people beneath u to solve ur problems..
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Santa was riding on a horse,
He jumped the red light & a cop whistles'
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says,
"Le Karle Number Note"
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Fantastic Definitions

School:
A Place Where Father Pays & Son Plays

Life Insurance:
A Contract That Keeps U Poor All Ur Life
So That U Can Die Rich.

Marriage:
Its An Agreement In Which
A Man Loses His Bachelors Degree &
A Women Gains Her Masters.

Doctor:
A Person Who Kills Ur Ills By Pills &
Kills U By Bills.
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