Monday, 17 December 2012

Rakhi Sawant Collection of Jokes.......150512

Media: “Aap Kitni Padhi Likhi Ho?
Rakhi Sawant: “Zyaada Nahi.. Bas Inter-Course Kiya Hai…!!

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RAKHI SAWANT Train me!
TC- Ticket?
Rakhi-Mera to Chehra hi Ticket hai.
TC- Jurmana lgega!
Rakhi-Q?
TC- Qki Tum 1st CLASS me baithiho & Chehra 3rd CLASS ka hai.

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Mallika Sherawat - Mujhe "KELA" pasand hai, aur tujhe?
Rakhi Sawant - Mujhe "KARELA"

Mallika - kyu?

Rakhi - b'coz its

D.O.T.T.E.D !!

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guy-what is the thing which is made by nature from backside and by human from the front...? friend(confused) -don't know... guy-RAKHI SAWANT..

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Meaningful words by Actress Rakhi Sawant- -
Dont talk in front of my back. -
Both of U 3 get out of my room. -
Open the window, let the environment come in. -
I have 2 sisters both are girls. -
All of U stand in a straight circle. -
Give me a red pen of any colour.
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What Will Happen If Bipasha Basu, Mallika Sherawat, Neha Dupia, Rakhi Sawant Contest Elections In India.? Politics Will Become Transparent

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Hey....sorry 4 late reply , actually police arested me for killing RAKHI SAWANT I swear I didnt kill her. I jst Asked her "Will u marry me ?" stupid khushi se mar gai...............................

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Baba Ramdev and Rakhi Sawant – Rakhi Comes Home Late in Night.

Baba Ramdev: Do you have a good excuse for coming home at 3 o’ clock in the morning?
Rakhi Sawant: Yes, I do! Baba, the party was raided.

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Top 5 funny shop names.

1- Gandhi hair care.!

2- Malika saree centre.!
3- Salman marriage bureau!
4- Dolly bindra fitness centre!
5- Rakhi sawant satsang kendra! 

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God: What do you want?
Boy: Beautiful girl
God: If you are a Muslim, I will give you Kartina; If you are a Hindu, I will give you Bipasha; If you are a Christian, I will give you Genelia. What’s your name?
Boy: Abdul Vijay Fernandes
God: Rakhi Sawant de saale ko. Jyada oversmart banta hai 
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Ravan: Bhiksha de do?

Lady: Ye lo.

Ravan: Rekha par karo. (lady crossed the line)

Ravan: Ha, ha, ha, maim bhikshuk nahi,Ravan hun.

Lady:  He He He Main bhi Sita nahi, Rakhi Sawant hunn
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RAKHI SAWANT AND bolne wala TOTA
 at pet shop:

RAKHI: Mai kesi lagti hun

Tota- Kameeni lgti ho..

Rakhi-Tota battamez hai

Shopkepr pani laya ur totay ko Pani 
mai dubaya aur pocha

Gali de ga?

Tota-Nhi

rakhi-Agr mere ghar Ek admiay to tum 
kya socho ge?

Tota-Tmara husbnd hoga

rakhi-Agr 2 admi ay to?

Tota-Husbn d aur Devar

rakhi-Agr 3 admi ay to?

Tota-Husbnd, Devar aur Bhai

rakhi -Agr 4 admi ay to?

Tota-“jao bhai Lay aao PANI

maine toh pehle hi bola tha saali 
Kameeni hai” ;-)
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Ek shaadi mein baraat mein Rakhi Sawant dance kar rahi thi aur dulhe ke jija ne bola ki waah Rakhi kya dance kiya! 
Toh Rakhi boli, dance nahi, mere skirt mein cockroach ghus gaya tha
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RAKHI SAWANT NE SABZI MANDI MEIN
2 FOOT LAMBI MULI DEKH KE POCHA
"YEH KYA HAI ?"

SABZIWALA : MADAM, YEH HUMARE LIYE
                  MULI HAI, PAR AAPKE LIYE TO
                  YEH BHI MA-MULI HAI.........!!! 
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Rakhi Sawant ka gang rape ho raha tha
Wo chilla chilla k keh rahi thi,
"Kutto kamino,
BHAGWAN k liye
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Lado mat!
Shuru to karo
Sabka Number Ayega ;)
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List of statements made by the item 
cum drama queen:

"Mein is desh ki beti hoon aur 
mujhe insaaf dilana aap sab ka
 farz 
hai." After being kissed by singer Mika.


"I have done more item numbers
 than Shilpa, which were bigger 
hits. I also want to marry a guy 
like Raj (Kundra) who is rich and 
handsome." When asked about the 
man she would like to marry.


"Only Kareena Kapoor and 
Mallika Sherawat don't have the 
right to 
kiss." When asked why she 
kissed Elesh (fiance) on a show when
 she didn't intend to marry him.


"Dimpy bali ka bakra  ban gayi 
hai. Very soon, you'll all get to hear
 that Rahul aur Dimpy ka
separation ho gaya 
hai." Commenting on Dimpy and
 Rahul 
Mahajan's marriage.


"On top of that I've to cook on 
the show. I can't cook to save my 
life. I don't know how I'll manage
. I can't even use make-up. Can 
you imagine Rakhi Sawant without 
makeup?" Speaking about her show 
Pati Patni Aur Woh.
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Laloo was standing at a bus stop,
Rakhi Sawant passes by
&
say’s:
“Dhoop main keon khara hai?”
Laloo: “Sasoori… Dhoti main se bhe daikh leti hai.”
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Rakhi Sawant's responsibilities included bringing the director a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the director was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. Rakhi Sawant explained that she had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused her to spill much of it along the way.
None of the director's yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut Rakhi Sawant's pay by one-third if she continued to produce one-third less than the director wanted. The next morning he was greeted with a cup of coffee that was full to the brim, and the next morning and the morning after that.
The director couldn't resist gloating over his success and smugly complimented Rakhi Sawant on her new technique.
"Oh, there's not much to it," admitted Rakhi Sawant happily, "I take some coffee in my mouth right outside the coffee room, and spit it back in just before I enter your office."

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