Friday, 21 December 2012

अगर ज़बरदस्ती तुम ने मेरी शादी की तो.....my jokes.....153712

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!"

The man asked the doctor what the problem was.

"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"

"No", replied the man.

"Do you drink in excess?"

"No"

"Do you have a sex life?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life"

Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half... the LOOKING or the THINKING?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
 
लड़की: अम्मी मैं शादी नहीं करुँगी और अगर ज़बरदस्ती तुम ने मेरी शादी की तो घर से भाग जाउंगी।

माँ रोते हुए बोली, "बेटी मैंने भाग के तेरे अब्बा के साथ शादी की, तेरी खाला और बहन ने भाग के शादी की, तेरा भाई नौकरानी के साथ और तेरे चाचा धोबन के साथ भाग गया, तेरी फूफू सब्जी वाले के साथ और तेरी मौसी की बेटी दूधवाले के साथ भाग गयी, तेरा बाप दो बार पड़ोसन के साथ भाग चुका है अब तू भी भाग जायेगी तो

हमारी क्या इज्ज़त रह जायेगी कुछ ख्याल कर"।
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
 
Ek bar ek ladka samosa ke bich ke aalu ko kha raha tha aur bahar ke hisse ko phek raha tha.

Dushra dost usse poochta hai ke tum samose ke sirf aalu ko kyun kha rahe hoo?

Pehla: Doctor ne mujhe bahar ke chejo ko khane se mana kiya hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
 
Girl :ap mujhe lift dein gay to main apko apna cell no: don gi :)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Boy : Jahan chaho wahan chhor don ga,

Numbr vmbr rehne do,

Bas 100 ka petrol dalwa dena baji:)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
 
Upcoming plans for this happy new year -
20 December - last night of the world PARTY
21 December - last day of the world PARTY
22 December - we are still alive PARTY
23 December - HANGOVER
24 December - Christmas eve PARTY
25 December Christmas day PARTY
26 and 27 December - HANGOVER
28 December - last Friday of the year PARTY
29 December - last Saturday of the year PARTY
30 December - last Sunday of the year PARTY
31 December - new year eve PARTY
1 Jan - new year PARTY
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
 
Kabhi Aansu Kabhi Sajday Kabhi Hathon Ka Uth Jana.

MuhabBat Mein Ho Nakami To RAB Hi Yaad Aata Hai..!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
 
Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?


Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
-->

No comments:

Post a Comment