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Sunday, 16 December 2012

अपनी वीआईपी गाड़ी में मनमोहन सिंह कहीं जा रहे थे... My jokes for u...........149712

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School me Santa ka Bachha ChaKu liye ghum raha tha
Sir ne puchha ChaKu liye kyu ghum rahe ho ?

Bachha-Gareeb Hu Sir REVOLVER kaha se lau...
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किसी ने एक दिन भगवान से पूछा, "आपने हमें 2 आँखें, 2 कान, 2 हाथ, 2 पैर, 2 होंठ और 2 किडनी दिये हैं।
लेकिन सिर्फ एक ही दिल क्यों?
भगवान ने उत्तर दिया, "प्रिये, दिल भी 2 दिये हैं, बस दूसरा ढूढ़ना पड़ता है।
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Ek admi ne sant se pucha,"Patni ko kumbh mein  khone se zyada bura kya h?

He replied-"Wo umeed  ki wo  wapas   aayegi."

Never loose hope !
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Dukh Na Dena Mere DOST Ko.

Mujhe Chahay SUKH Ki bahaar Dedo..!

Ghoome New CYCLE Pe DOST Mera..

Mujhe Bhalay Hi Purani Si MERCEDES
CAR Dedo..!

Bhooka Na Rakhna Mere DOST Ko Khane Ko Taazi DAAL Dedo,

Mujhe Bhalay Hi Kal Ka liay Pizza
Hut,mcdonalds, Hardees

AUR..
DEW Ka Sirf 1 Glass Dedo..!!
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There was a lover who once said to his beloved
that he can go through hell for her...
And eventually married her to prove it!!! :-)
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Sign outside a silicon implant clinic........
We arrange Alphabets..............
from Lemons..............to Melons.............:)
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Kamwali: Malkin, apki purani sareeya mujhe nhi chahiye..

Malkin: Kyu?

Kamwali: Apki saree pahen-ne k baad saheb "ap" samajh kr mere paas bhi nhi ate!
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Apni Wife Ki Nazar Se Duniya Ko Dekho,

Duniya Ka Saab Se Perfect Man - Uska Daddy,

Duniya Ka saab Se Dukhi Pati - Uska Bhai,

Duniya Ka Saab Se Sunder Boy - Uska Beta,

Duniya Ka Saab Se Nasibdar Aadmi - Uski Bahen Ka Patti,

Aur Duniya Ka Saab Se Kharab, Selfish, Jhootha, Kanjus, Bekar Aadmi - Yeh Bhi Likhna Padega Kya...???({}) \=D
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Wife: Yesterday I saw a very Beautiful Girl.

Husband: Really ??

Then what happened?

Wife: I just kept on Admiring her, On & On..

Husband (Gets Irritated): But,

what happened then?

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Wife Smiled & said: Then What ??

I Simply Moved away from the Mirror !!!
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1. What is the difference between Einstein and Karunanidhi?

Einstein said that everything is relative whereas Karunanidhi
says that relative is everything

2. Why is Bangla Desh not sending a contingent to Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump or swim, has already crossed
the border of the country

3. Why did UPA Government demonetise 25 paise coins?

They could not manage one Anna, how could they manage four annas?
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 My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.


Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
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अपनी वीआईपी गाड़ी में मनमोहन सिंह कहीं जा रहे थे...
मनमोहन(ड्राइवर से): रोको-रोको, वह देखो स्कूटर वाला ट्रैफिक के नियम तोड़ रहा है। उसे समझाना है।
मनमोहन(स्कूटर वाले से): देखिए...आप गाड़ी चला रहे हैं, सरकार नहीं। नियमों का पालन करें और जुर्माने से बचें।
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