Monday, 24 November 2014

Funny Sardar Jokes once again.............

Sardar jokes-Nobel prize

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, "Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"Santa replies, "I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.""How?" asks the man, puzzled."Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."


Sardar jokes-Suger level

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.


Sardar jokes-Engine failure


Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines."An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left."A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!"


Sardar jokes-Puzzle


Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, "51 days! 51 Days!!" About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, "51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, "What on earth are you doing??""Well," the Sardar says, "everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!


Sardar jokes-Going home early


Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"


Sardar jokes-Hanging for life


There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, "I’ll get off."After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.


Sardar jokes - Weight loss




The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem."What’s the problem?" asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home.


Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven



Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, "OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc…."Saint Peter lets him in without another word"


Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta


Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet."The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!"On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, "Oh sure."The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, "I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. "The boss says, "20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, "What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? "Santa says, "Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!"


Sardar jokes-Who dunnit


The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor," replied Banta, "I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it.



Sardar jokes


Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!


Sardar jokes-The archery contest


Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY


Santa banta sardar jokes


Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -"want a ride Mr. Singh?" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr. Singh. take anything" Santa is quite excited and asks "What did you do Santa?" Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes!


Short sardar jokes - santa banta


Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one."Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor," replied Banta, "I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.